Day-before-yesterday I read a great post over at skelliewag.org that stirred up an excellent discussion about whether or not it’s important to write well online. I’m not a great writer myself and, in fact, I started this blog in part to get a little more practice.
But this got me thinking about writing in general, word usage and credibility. So I put on my tall, pointy hat and decided to post my opinion about five words that really annoy me when misused. Here they are in no particular order.
Our first word is unique. No, really, that’s the word!
Unique
Like being pregnant, you can’t be a little bit unique.
Wrong
Hey I woke up the other day and realized I was somewhat unique. Later I got over it.
Right
Hey I woke up the other day and realized I was unique. Thankfully, I’ll never get over it.
Next up, a word which will probably produce a little argument. I maintain that, unlike unique which should never have a modifier, quality must always have one.
Quality
I saw someone write (for the thousandth time at least) that, “this thing is a quality piece of work.” Or, in another instance, “that’s a quality blog.” The only thing missing is a clue as to whether the confounded thing is any good or not! Quality has to have a modifier. Bad quality, good quality; the word quality by itself is utterly meaningless.
But I’m afraid it may be far too late to get that issue fixed as it’s really gotten embedded in the English-speaking world’s psyche, no thanks to the foolish aristocrat who first pushed that concept out there in the 14th century. Blast that dictionary for contradicting me anyway. Nevertheless, I’m right.
Wrong
Hey buddy, you gonna’ finish that quality bowl of lecithin gravy?
Right
Hey buddy, you gonna’ finish that top quality bowl of lecithin gravy?
Irregardless
There is, in fact, no such word. I finally figured out why this is such a common mistake. I believe this to be the illegitimate child of the marriage of “irrespective” and “regardless”. It may sound like it’s a good idea, but regardless of your intense desire to misuse this one, and irrespective of all the reasons you might offer in your defense, using “irregardless” is probably the biggest no-no of the bunch since it’s not a real word.
Wrong
Bill continued to awkwardly reach toward the precariously balancing bowl of warm, lecithin gravy, irregardless of the inevitable disaster which was sure to follow.
Right
Bill continued to awkwardly reach toward the precariously balancing bowl of warm, lecithin gravy, regardless of the inevitable disaster which was sure to follow.
Hopefully
It’s almost always used incorrectly these days. Cotton really wrecked it for everyone back in 1702. “. . . Hopefully, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Hopefully I’ll do this, hopefully I’ll get that; this is just so wrong I can’t begin to even tell you. (Granted, according to the dictionary, my attitude about this word apparently places me in the traditionalist camp, but I’ll address that in a sentence at the end of this post.)
Wrong
Hopefully, the unicorn-riding space travellers from Alpha Centauri will arrive and give us plankton, chocolate and some sort of odd, gravy-like substance.
Right
I hope the unicorn-riding space travellers from Alpha Centauri will arrive and give us plankton, chocolate and some sort of odd, gravy-like substance.
In the wrong sentence above, the literal meaning suggests that the space travelers will be feeling hopeful as they arrive bearing their lovely gifts; they will arrive feeling hopeful. However, 99.9% of the time, the writer writing this intends to suggest that they themselves are the ones feeling hopeful about the arrival of the space travelers bearing gifts. Always ask yourself, “who is feeling hopeful?” and then make sure the sentence is reflecting that properly. (I know, purists will also say I should have said, “s/he himself/herself is the one feeling hopeful” but man, isn’t that awkward!?.)
Anxious Instead of Eager
Many people use the word anxious to describe an upcoming event they are excited about. In fact, by using the word anxious, they are saying they are worried about it. If you’re excited, say you’re eager. If you’re worried, then use anxious.
Wrong
Ludlow was anxious to open all the incredible presents he knew he would be receiving at his very first lecithin-gravy party.
Right
Ludlow was eager to open all the incredible presents he knew he would be receiving at his very first lecithin-gravy party.
Now many will probably hassle me endlessly about the swiftly changing nature of the spoken language arguing that anything that gets used often enough becomes validated by its very ubiquity.
But hey man, I’m tellin’ ya, if we don’t have at least a few ground rules and standards, I might as well start riggle plag mimmbly bum toothbrush the squirrelpaste. Know what i mean? How will we understand each other if we make up our own rules and just run with them? I’m as excited about change as the next guy, just as long as it’s change for the better.
If you are as excited and curious about language as I am, and if you want to find more ways to avoid those embarrassing usage boners, have a look at some of these related articles I found during my travels.
10 flagrant grammar mistakes that make you look stupid
Common Errors in English by Paul Brians
Style Guide from The Economist
Words & Expressions Commonly Misused from Bartleby.com
Disclaimer: I’m no expert grammarian and also don’t think anyone is a dummy. I’m just a grammar muckraker raking up some muck. Hope you liked it. I also encourage healthy debate.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed! 34 Responses to “” Judi Says:March 11th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Great post!
These remind me of people who say “I could care less.” When they really mean “I couldn’t care less”.. as in “I could not care any less”..
OTOH, I am always being corrected by my daughters when I am not saying good and well in the proper way, and tired brained as I am most of the time, I just don’t get it.
Judi’s last blog post..Heads or Tails – Green
Bob Gladstein Says:March 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I’m with you 100% on “quality.” That beer with the slogan “quality you can taste” always makes me wonder whether I’d want to.
Bob Gladstein’s last blog post..Universal Search Mocks Me
Gavin Mitchell Says:March 12th, 2008 at 5:30 am
The whole concept of language ‘mistakes’ assumes that there was a time when the English language reached a pinnacle (handily around the time dictionaries first appeared) and that any deviation from the rules of grammar and spelling of this time is somehow undesirable.
Language is constantly evolving and there is nothing we can do to stop it – as the French are finding out with phrases like ‘Le weekend’. Given the nature of language development, it’s actually a little bizarre that we’re still abiding by arbitrary decisions that people like Samuel Johnson, Robert Cawdrey and Noah Webster made hundreds of years ago.
After all, Shakespeare apparently couldn’t decide how to spell his own name and still managed to make himself understood. Possibly the greatest ever wordsmith to grace the English language would today be mocked on Digg for his spelling mistakes.
Walk Through Money Online Journal Says:March 12th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Not everybody is a real writer in blogging. Just some hobby of sharing. I hope not everybody is looking for a perfect grammar but more on the what you can learn from an article. Excusing myself since I admit that I have a lot of imperfections on my grammar. Thanks for sharing. I learn a lot from this post. I will try my best.. More power
Zack Says:March 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
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